THE ONLINE PERVERT FROM FAR AWAY

Being human, we have grown to appreciate the glamour of something foreign.  Be it a car... Case in point AOB (Any Other Brand) verses the Mobius. Clothes, music, literature, film, popular culture... And men and women. The thrill of the exotic has even me drooling over some demi-gods online. There is a rare pride in saying the man or woman you are dating is not Kenyan. Maybe a Ka-muthungu, Nigerian or a south African... From where ever really.
It may be as deep set as the bone this ideology. I have no idea why. And vice versa... That Kenyan melanin seems to pull a lot of eyes from out there, people want to get in there. #Yeah...?
And because distance is a key factor here that most do not consider, in one way or another such relationships turn online faster than you can say the Kenyan national anthem from start to finish.
Whether the meet happens online or not, a great chunk of knowing each other happens via social media and other online networking platforms.
Finally were are here... To my point... Ever read that meme; behind every African girl is an Asian pervert stalking them on Facebook. Question ladies, is this true for you. Gents too, do you have a foreign girl stalking you online?
I can attest I have a few. African, Asian, Persian and Western.
I see a trend; first they reach out telling you of your unearthly beauty. Then they tell you they love you. Am telling you the transition is so sudden one gets whiplash! This sort of fluttery is crutching, meant to disarm. Then they will ask for a nude... Or an exposing picture of oneself. They may even be gracious enough to offer you  enough motivation. They will send a careful contract of timing and framing with golden lighting to sell you the best version of their supposed self. Most will not frame their faces in the pics.  Those weak in 'love' or lust will send pictures of themselves to these perverts hoping for more than just simple online flirtation. #Sad but I get it. This people are in it to win. They will offer to come and visit you in Kenya or whisk you away to far away and this is very inviting. A free holiday abroad, Yeah!
I know that loneliness can lead one to a place of desperation but darling... You have you to protect. These are predictors after something, and it ain't your love!
You are selected after great scrutiny and it ain't because of your face or your body. Whether you know it or not, you may have exposed a flaw... A vulnerability that they tap into to win you over. Can be that or even a strength I.e. Financial stability, acceptance of self, a heightened existence... Achieved self actualization, name it. Whatever pulls them to you might be as vain as the physical or as deep as your rhetoric. Either way... You are still prey and they are on the hunt.
Be careful what you put out there. I at times fall victim to laying my unmentionables bare online but I am trying to learn the lengths to go to being a writer and all. I fear am young at this realization but time will tell. In time I will find the fine balance. And so will you youngling. 😊
I have to admit, being able to experience this and tell it to a soul is something I value more than you could ever know. Share this with your brothers and sisters. For lack of a better line... Educate themselves that internet si mama yako. (The internet is not your mother). Things can go wrong faster than  gaining cheap online  fame, the likes of #CashMeOutside.
Live and love people.
Nekh

To heel or not to heel... That is the question.

Heels come in different shapes and sizes, colours are made of different materials. The diversity of heels is attributed to style, comfort, cost and preference. Functionality and aesthesia are defining factors in selecting heels. Ask any one who owns a pair, among others of cause.
Ladies... And men who indulge in the act of wearing these heels... Did you know that you should thank Catherine de Medici for making heels a fashion statement? These were shoes worn by Egyptian butchers to avoid soil in their feet. Yikes!
So... Lets talk about the 21st century woman and men, and these inferno tools of torture...
Why do people wear heels. I have a few reasons: The confidence factor; some women claim that heels give them an edge. They feel a special strength when wearing the shoes. A class affair; heels may dictate class. Brand and year of production come highly relevant to state class. While a pair of Louis Vuitton heels mark a sense of elevation, you may want to consider new sessions or timeless classics to define high end. Get it... Moving on. Sexy heels; heels are sexy, they say. Maybe because they give the illusion of legs that go for days. Men like that sort of thing. Some ladies too... 😉 Also, some claim that someone in heels walks alot different than they do when have on flat shoes.  Its all about the sway, attributed to a faltering gait. A height issue; this is a little sensitive but... Stating truth here. Some people are born shorter than the average and feel the need to elevate. I find that some tall people also wear heels to elevate and seem taller. Its a matter of choice really. If height issues bother an individual, they may feel the need to wear out their heels make them taller. No judgement here. Can't think of any other reason... Read on my darling. I got more!
So thinking of the above reasons to wear heels I feel the need to bring it back home. To heel or not to heel? When can individuals wear heels and when can they not? How to wear heels and AOB concerning heels.
Personally... I only wear heels when there is a car coming for me. I remember once I was victim to the gully-creeper syndrome; when you are so tired of walking in heels you can barely keep your knees straight.  Sadness! So... Do not tire your precious legs and end up looking like a broken umpa-Lumpa heading home. Most times, heels are not practical shoes for everyday wear. You wear your legs and tendons, ruin your back... And so on. So maybe try not to wear really elevated heels everyday.
Ensure they fit right; with a little too to wiggle. Sounds crazy but feet do not stay the same size all day everyday. Feet swelling is common and one may end up hurting themselves when the feet swell due to pressure or just heat in the day. So think ahead...
Break shoes in before wearing them out. (This goes for all shoes) I once saw this lady with cuts on her feet because she walked in brand new shoes and they turned monstrous because they had sharp edges on the inner side of the shoe she never knew of. The pain... The shame. Its nice to know you can trust your shoes to protect your feet and not grind them to bloody pulps. Lesson learnt?
Also, when buying... Reputable brands are better. Some retailers wish to make money even on sub standard merchandise. So... Be careful the heels you buy. There is a safe way the heel is installed to minimize risk  to the wearer. Some people out there are after profit will make shoes that do not fit the generalized safe measurements. You have got to be very careful you do not buy shoes that will harm you in the long run.
In the long run, I believe owning a few pairs of these beasts is essential... Though there has to be a sense of responsibility to take care of oneself. You do not want to look good and end up ruining your life for a few hours of an illusion that will wear off the moment you take off your heels.
PS. I strongly believe kids should not wear heels. They are too young and still forming their bone structure. I think young mothers especially should just chill.
That's all for now. Feel free to comment, advice and share.
 Live and love.
Nekh

Dear GOK; Government of Kenya... Tampons are not cosmetics.

Stepping back a little, in 2016 the government implemented an increased tax rate on cosmetics in Kenya... That means that a lipstick stick would cost a little more than the usual rip off.
I feel nothing for this. I spend about 100 Kenya Shillings on cosmetics every month so needless to say this does not move me that much, I feel sorry for my cake makeup buddies. Poleni.
A survey done in 2014 placed Kenya among the country whose women spend the most on appearance alone. This list included South Africa and Nigeria. So the tax increase is not so shocking... I get it,  that's the perfect money cow. Collect your mula from the cash money dadas out there.
I didn't mind all this until one fateful afternoon (A little TMI...) I went to buy some tampons, which normally cost a pretty penny and was shocked to find the price has gone up, considerably. I have a strict monthly budget for my moons and you can understand my shock when I go to the local chemist with my usual list and mula to find that the price of tampons has gone up. This new price does not sit well with me so I feel compelled to ask the lassie behind the counter what gives, and she says a tax increase was imposed on cosmetics.
Needless to say, I look at her like she fell from mars, complete with the horns and marked skin. I ask her, "What cosmetics? tampons?!"
And she is like yeah. I almost punched her.
Am like "WHERE?!" So GOK... I thought that maybe its a linguistic difficulty issue.  I get it, Kizungu ilikuja na meli. I went searching and here is what I found. This is the meaning of the word Cosmetic;
Noun.
Plural; cosmetics. A preparation, such as powder or a skin cream, designed to beautify the body by direct application.
2.  Something superficial that is used to cover a deficiency or defect.
adjective;
1.  Serving to beautify the body, especially the face and hair.
2.  Serving to modify or improve the appearance of a bodily feature, defect, or irregularity: cosmetic therapy.
3. a.  Decorative rather than functional: cosmetic fenders on cars.
 b. Lacking depth or significance; superficial: made a few cosmetic changes when she took over the company.
According to a Dictionary app that's free called The Free Dictionary by Farlex. (It's free...)
So where do you see tampon being classified as a cosmetic?! I went ahead and got the meaning of a tampon just so that we can clear come of this misunderstanding...
Tampon; A plug of absorbent material inserted into a body cavity or wound to stop a flow of blood or to absorb secretions, especially one designed for insertion into the vagina during menstruation.
The way I read this BS is that periods are optional and we ladies can pick what accessories to look good in during this very interesting period of the month.
I have to say being a woman in this Century in this country is really something to live up to... Psych!
Its election year. For the sake of all Kenyan women, please be considerate. We don't select when to have our moons, so try... If you may to put yourselves in the shoes of any woman. Your daughter, your mother, your friend. GOK... See beyond money.
Further more. A campagne for free pads and tampons should be initiated. While we give free condoms to our children in schools we deny the same children conform of clean and sanitary menses. What kind of parents guardians and leaders are we.  Who does this?
In the light of our children, if we think to lower the age of consensual sex to sixteen, but leave the age for legal marriage at eighteen, are we saying yes to predators who pry on our children? Are we giving these monsters leeway to go after out kids?
Am a little pissed. I know you can tell, its just the incongruence of the systems that run this country. The systems that exist are seriously flawed. We need a change.
Vote for what's proper this year. Vote for every Kenyan and not a certain group of selected few.
Nekh

The Faces of Kenyan Prime Time Media; notice a trend?

Hey,
So I was watching news, prime time news, that's 9PM with my friends, on a Friday night, and I remember telling them that I couldn't remember the last time I saw the news and a light skinned female anchor was not paired with a dark or chocolate skinned male anchor, so we went hunting, flipping stations like we were getting paid for it and... I think there is a trend forming here, check this out...

Note that these photos were taken in the month of August 2015, until 7/9/2015, completely random.

So there are Smriti Vidyarthi and Mark Masai representing  NTV.  Citizen above with the binary, and KTN, K24 and KBC as illustrated below choosing to go with a single anchor. 

P.S. I also think that a majority of Kenyan female news anchors are light skinned, not being bias, I am a cool chocolate and I love it, just saying... 

 What do you think, am I delusional, or is there something here?!
PS. I wrote this a while ago... Thought I should share...

Nekh.

Been a While....

Hey, its been a while... I know. I owe you a lot of tales. Forgive this awful soul for its misgivings are infinite if you look close enough.
Am only human... As any other soul that falls short would claim. But deep within there lies the magic... The soul that lives and breaths. Lets look into that little philosophy there. Are we only human? With nothing more to offer than flesh and blood or are we more... Is what light beneath, heavenly... Unfathomable.. They say it is eternal. Blissful in the afterlife, if virtue plagues its present. So clearly, we must be speaking of something immortal here... Something that changes form but still remain alive. Something that changes realms but still lives. So this line, 'Im only human'... Looses meaning for me in this moment.
Moving on... Swiftly.
Sooooo.... Where was I, well I was making 'mula', gaining face I.e. recognition and respect.
I wrote an eBook... Toughest endeavor of my life. Its called Dissociate Nalia's Resolve. Its on Lulu.com.
And... to make things interesting, any one who comments on this entry will get a free sample in their mail and a special preview of the second... You ready?
Why eBook. Maybe because I got tired of asking why not. This platform is borderline untouched in Kenya with most writers opting for blogging rather than writing a whole book. The risk was  worth it. I have to say, it looks great on my CV 😏 .
I feel so accomplished! Really. Got my first cheque this week. Taxed and all. Feels good to be legal. Still broke.... But boy do I feel good. Now I can officially say... Am a writer. 😂
What else. Took my film to the next level. I have worked on a few sets, both behind and before the camera. Interesting.... Had my TV debut as an extra on Kenyan Show Aunty Boss. Gotta say... I love the spot light.
So far.... That's the reason I have been quiet but no more. I will hit you with weekly blogs unless life takes over.
Thank you so much for being loyal. Remember share. Do not be scared to comment.
Live and love.
Sandra Nekh.

LIFE HACKS

Life can be difficult, I have come to learn how to make it easier over the years. A hack a day… or two keeps the doctor… or bottle away.

The calendar.

Most Africans don’t believe in the calendar guide for reminders and what not. See the calendar helps you see all events at once so that it’s hard for you to plan more than one event a day on the same time slot. I activated my calendar on about two months ago, safe to say I have never missed a meet since then, and… am always the first one there. Most smart phones have a calendar app already installed so all you have to do is learn how to use it. Get organized.

What to do with your old calendars; what I have learn over the years is that Calendars, especially those smaller desktop versions have the coolest pictures, and fittingly so because, i am sure those companies work hard to ensure that the pictures used are meaningful, and needless to say timeless. The DIY pro will be happy to hear this, recycle! I made this beautiful desktop clock with old wall clock bits, an old plastic container and a calendar pic. You can use them to make cards, bookmarks, frame them for beautiful wall hangings.... tear down older months and get creative!

 The salt remedy.

Do you watch Supernatural? The series, it’s been running like forever… beside the point, so according to the show, salt is used to line doors and windows to ward off evil… well mine is less creepy… so I live in a very wet area, borderline swampy, so especially on rainy seasons [NOW]… my worst nightmare comes to pass. No, it’s not evil!!! SNAILS! I hate those slimy things, so I learned that if I line the threshold of the doors and windows with salt, I can effectively keep them out. Do not forget the drains; bathroom and kitchen. See your life get easier already?

A salt gaggle can help with mouth sores and a salt soak with fungal and bacterial infections.

Moisturizer.

This tip is especially for the ladies. Moisturizer is Lotion, for the Kenyans in the building. So you spend about 300-500 shillings on an average cost 350ML bottle of lotion that lasts a person about two months, okay… those stats are of me. Then you spend about the same amount on a 50ML container of face moisturizer with a fancy name because you believe that your face needs special attention. What I have come to learn, whatever goes on your butt, can go on your face. Same person, same skin. Only difference is that the face is  exposed to a lot of things i.e. radiation, dust, cold… etc. thus the need for a layer of protection from the elements. A good lotion can save you from all that. Vitamin E in the lotion is good, a base product that is natural and safe. Scrub your face with mild scrubs like once a month, just before your cycle. Note that if you have coarse bathing sponge or scrubber thingy for showering… don’t scrub your face. You do that every day without knowing it, may be the reason why your face has pimples because it’s constantly irritated. Oh, and change your showering sponge often, because those things collect dirt and germs.

Fun fact; ‘siyangu’ is Luhya for the scrubber thingy for showering (not sure about the spelling – born Tao!)… Which translates to NOT MINE in English, I wonder why it’s called so, maybe because after so many uses they look so bad no one wants to own up that it’s theirs!

Running fearless

So I recently picked up the fitness thing that hit a lot of people this year, so in August 2015 I started running four times a week. If you know Kasarani, in the outskirts of Nairobi, you know that there are no paths to run on, so my running partner and I have to run on the main road, and endure the stares! And dodge cars especially public transport vehicles. But what is most annoying is the people who will always find words to tell you. Some things people say, you feel like they don’t have a filter! It’s utterly infuriating… so this one time I ran with my cousin from the army and he ran in his army clothes! And NO ONE SAID A WORD TO US…soooooo, I came up with a new strategy, I got myself camouflage pants for my four day a week runs, if fear is the only way to scare off on-looking rattle mouthed commentators who  have a lot to say and do not have the courage to run themselves, then so be it. They think am in the army… i.e. FEAR TACTICS!!! HAHAHAHAHHA *^{EVIL LAUGH}.

That’s all for now. Thanks for the read, don’t forget to share.

PS; say a prayer for Paris.

Nekh.

#the trend.... Appreciating the lesser film maker

Hey guys...
So am watching #the trend and this lady Anita Nderu is pretty awesome... She thinks before talking and she deserves to be on the the show.
On other news.... I know that I love live action movies but do you think that Hollywood is pushing the envelope a little too much... So in the last decade we have experienced live action from Marvel and DC comics thing... To watching chipmunks... For those whom don't know.... They are like cute rats... Chipmunks singing! To ninja turtles coming to live... Its been a crazy couple of years with technological advances I.e. motion capture what what.... I love this age. This is the perfect age in film. Think about it. There are just enough guys with the tech to lie to you proper... Imagine an age when everyone had the tech to do a 3D film... Sema monotonous! So find a way to appreciate the good old 2D.
#@LarryMadowo yes the arts should pay more in Kenya. I don't plan to work in any other industry. Truth.
Back to what i was yapping about... Film.... I also needed to talk about the independent films. Indie films are the steppingstone for all the great film industries. Any film enthusiast will tell you that their now favorite, most awesome film makers started from making low budget indies. The best part about Indie films is the level of creativity... See the thing with such films is that the film makers are not controlled by corporate giants sited behind designer grand desks who speak in dollar bills.... A non-film maker can never make decisions concerning film. Consider this.... An engineer (big ups to KQ technicians and engineers!) Running a hospital... Disaster! Same thing with the film industry. Bana... Kenya film commission fix this!
All I'm trying to say is that Indie films are the backbone of true film. Unlimited creative minds not hindered by corporates. So more than once in a while... Make your way to the nearest theater and look beyond your blockbuster and see that little film maker who spent all his savings making that film and see what you are missing out on.
For more information on Indie films and film news all together check out Indie Wire. Together let's make indie films the new trend.

Have a wonderful weekend. Stay safe.

Nekh.